


Heart of Gold

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Breaking the Jedi Code (Star Wars), Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, M/M, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Poor Life Choices, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Terrible Life Decisions, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26995204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Anakin Skywalker has been a slave his whole life. It just takes the right person to set him free.Or:Anakin is a mess, Obi-Wan is a mess. Two messes make an even bigger mess.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 31
Kudos: 135





	1. the one where anakin skywalker messes up in a good or bad way depending on your point of view

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy! (I hope)

“This is where the fun begins,” Rex sighs. 

It most definitely is _not_. 

Anakin grimaces, leaning against the nearest rock he could find that shielded him from enemy fire, breathless with exhaustion, sweat dripping off of his chin despite the cool temperatures. His metal hand is crumpled and damaged, holes boring into it courtesy of the blaster bolts the enemy had targeted him with from across the field. He briefly wonders how much longer he can last without his usual control of the hand that wields his lightsaber. 

He thinks up a long string of curses in his head to shout at the top of his lungs in the Council chambers in front of all those present. His men are devastatingly tired from their last battle on Felucia and still are not by any definition recovered. They had by no means been ready for another assignment and sending them out here to reinforce Windu was a poorly-disguised suicide mission. 

Anakin deflects an incoming blaster bolt with his lightsaber, watching it race off into the distance, instantly becoming enveloped by the thick blanket of fog that made it so hard for his men to land a solid shot on the droids using it as a cover on the other side. 

Sure, Anakin realizes he could probably use the Force to figure out the exact positions of the droids and take them on himself, but there were just a few problems with that idea. Normally, Anakin wasn’t one to care about how reckless his strategies were, but he also knew when one of those plans was not going to have a good turnout. This was one of those times. Was he just going to take on an entire battalion of droids single-handedly? 

Anakin glances over at Rex, who is ducking behind a rock in a similar fashion, his two blasters raised and his arms tense to put them to good use at a moment’s notice. “Any ideas, Rex?” Anakin calls. Rex spares a moment to look at him. Anakin can see that even after all they have been through together, his Captain is still a little taken aback at being asked for advice by a Jedi. He shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Do we know who’s leading their attack?” Rex shouts back over the roar of a sudden wave of blaster fire issuing from behind the fog. Anakin quickly curls on himself, shying away from the lethal bolts. Rex and his men do the same. “I could be wrong but this doesn’t seem like a tactician droid’s tactics, much less any one of those clankers!”

Rex has a point, Anakin admits, peering over his makeshift shield. He squints, trying yet again to see past the fog to no avail. Frustration burns in his gut and he waves his hand in a sharp motion, moving the fog aside with the Force. He wonders why he didn’t think to do that before. 

Only the fog didn’t move. Anakin bangs his head on the rock. _Of course,_ it didn’t work. When did anything go the way he wanted it to? Oh, that’s right, not _once_. 

He concludes the fog isn’t natural, but that’s impossible. No average Separatist leader can just suspend fog in the air and keep it there… Anakin raises his head at that, suddenly feeling an icy shiver run up his back. “No, not a droid,” he swallows, shaking his head numbly. 

“General Grievous, then?” Rex asks, tilting his head in thought. “Count Dooku doesn’t usually command droid attacks, probably thinks he’s too good for that.” 

Anakin allows himself a chuckle at Rex’s jab at Dooku. His smile quickly fades, though, when he registers the gravity of the new situation he’s found himself in. He tentatively reaches out with the Force, his eyes shut, and throws his consciousness at the cold. 

It instantly wraps around him, encircling his mind in a tight embrace. Anakin gasps aloud and drops his lightsaber as he quickly works to bring up whatever mental shielding he possesses. Rex’s head snaps towards him, his eyes widening in immediate concern. A presence brushes against Anakin’s mind and it’s all he can do to keep it at bay. 

He drops to his knees, pulling at his hair as he starts to feel dizzy. If his suspicions are correct and this is indeed a Sith Lord, he needs to do everything in his power to keep whoever it was away. Anakin had grown up hearing stories of how a select few Sith Lords of old could push a Jedi to the dark side by enslaving his mind. There is no way in the galaxy Anakin is letting that happen to him. He is never going to fall. 

Anakin’s eyes widen when the cold melts away into a warm presence. A sort of bliss sneaks its way into his mind and he can’t help but release a soft groan, his muscles relaxing instantly. He could almost swear he can hear low chuckling by his ears, but when he turns there’s no one there except Rex, who Anakin has never seen so confused before. 

Abruptly, he snaps back to reality and notices what he had been allowing himself to do. He quickly slams his defenses up, horrified that he had let them crumble down, even if it had been for a split-second. _Stars_ , what was he thinking? 

The presence melts away and Anakin almost catches himself wanting it back. 

Yeah, he’s definitely losing it. Some sleep will probably do him good after all this is over. That is if they make it out alive. But then he’d have to suffer the embarrassment of knowing he almost let a kriffing _Sith Lord_ into his mind _willingly_. He hopes that when he gives his report to the Council, they decide to murder him on the spot. They certainly had seemed more inclined to ever since Ahsoka left. 

Anakin winces, accidentally conjuring up the image of his Padawan… former Padawan… his _friend_ descending the steps of the Temple, off into the sunset toward a place Anakin desperately longed but could not follow her to. When she was out of sight, Anakin had sunk to his knees, leaning his back against a nearby wall as he wondered what in the galaxy he was going to do with himself now. He didn’t have anyone left. His Master died a long time ago, his apprentice left, and the Council constantly acted like he was messing up purely to spite them. 

And they think _he_ takes things too personally. 

He waves a hand at Rex, smiling to show there was nothing to be worried about anymore. Seeing his Captain still standing there gave him a wave of reassurance. What did he mean by thinking he didn’t have anyone left - he still has Rex and the rest of the 501st. “I’m alright - _Rex, look out!”_

A missile is making its way towards Rex, as fast as light in all its fiery glory. It’s going to kill him. Anakin watches the missile as if it was moving in slow motion, feeling pure horror as Rex catches sight of it but can’t move away fast enough-

Without thinking, Anakin jumps in front of Rex. Rex yells in alarm. He must be shouting his name, but Anakin doesn’t hear any of it. An unseen yet inexplicably tangible grasp guides Anakin’s hands forward. His head lowers as he gives in to it, and he closes his eyes. A loud noise begins to flare in his ears, roaring like an uncontrollable flame yet serene as resting water. Anakin doesn’t pay attention to any of it. 

The only thought on his mind is Rex - Rex, the only person he can truly trust in this world anymore, who he knows without fail will always be there for him. Anakin can’t lose him. 

Something inside him _snaps…_

And everything goes silent. 

The incessant buzzing Anakin heard when he first raised his hands ceases. His hands are still outstretched, something almost comparable to electricity curling his fingertips. He’s vaguely aware of himself breathing, slow and collected puffs of air, terribly audible as they cut through the deafening quiet. 

“General…”

_Rex._

Anakin opens his eyes, slightly surprised that neither of them is dead. Perhaps the Force is smiling down upon him after all. 

Or not. 

Pain suddenly seizes his chest and he tumbles onto the ground, his knees toppling from underneath him. Men shout around him, their voices teeming with panic. Anakin groans groggily, wondering what was happening to him. A massive headache sears into his skull, the precursor to the agony that follows immediately after. His back arches as he tips his head back to scream. 

No one’s shouting his name anymore. 

Anakin lays his head on the ground, thanking the Force that it isn’t sand. He feels like he’s dying and if that’s true, he’s grateful that this is the way it happens. Saving the last people he cares about. He blinks open an eye, flinching violently at how bright everything seems now. 

All his men are lying on the ground dead. 

“No…” Anakin mumbles, stretching a hand out to move forward and closer to them. This isn’t right. He heard them saying his name only moments before, they can’t all be dead only moments after that. He tears up, staring at the fallen body of Rex. 

_Failure_ , he tells himself firmly, now relishing in the pain that seems to replace his blood, his very being. He turns to the sky, closing his eyes and scoffing. Some _Chosen One_ he turned out to be, huh. At least some of the Jedi Masters would get the satisfaction of telling the Council _I told you so._

“They’re not dead.”

Anakin’s eyes shoot open and he tries to move only to find that he can’t. Not because of his extensive injuries but because something is binding him to the ground, holding him in place with ease. He manages to tilt his head to the side, though he suspects it’s only because he was allowed to, not from the force of his own will. 

Footsteps lightly grace the ground as someone comes into Anakin’s field of vision. 

“Hello there.”

Anakin instinctively reaches for his lightsaber. His hand grasps empty air and he remembers that he dropped it when he felt the strange presence embrace his mind-

“Sith,” Anakin hisses, his eyes flicking up to meet the cruel gaze of his enemy… only to falter. The Sith Lord was kneeling down, his auburn hair brushing against the hood of his cloak which had been thrown back to get a good look at the Jedi he had effortlessly subdued. Words fail Anakin as he loses himself in the depths of the golden eyes that were staring at him with the intensity of a thousand stars. 

“And who might you be, little one?” The Sith Lord smiles slowly and just like that, Anakin remembers that he's supposed to hate whoever this is. Oh wait, not hate, that's not the Jedi way. _Strongly dislike_. “Are you supposed to be Windu’s reinforcements? Dear me, how the mighty Jedi Order has fallen, what a pity.” 

Anakin feels a burst of anger at the man’s condescending tone, but all the Sith Lord has to do is look at him before Anakin forgets it all. He is obviously using mind tricks on him and Anakin, in his weakened state, is too weak to resist them. 

But he didn’t even feel any invasive force or the barest hint of a presence around his mind…

Anakin frowns. He has a concussion, he decides. Something hit him too hard on the head and now his judgment is impaired. That’s all there is to it. 

A yelp of panic crawls its way up to his throat when he notices a warming sensation beaming through his chest. The Sith Lord’s hands are hovering over the general area of his heart, his eyes glinting in concentration. Anakin can’t look away and for the life of him, he can’t figure out why. 

_Concussion_ , he reminds himself. 

“What are you doing?” he croaks out. He scowls. That's a stupid question. The man wants to kill him, of course, that's what Sith do. They kill Jedi, don't they? 

The Sith Lord makes eye contact with him, smiling softly. “I’m healing you. Hold still…” Anakin’s eyes widen, figuring he heard the man wrong, and he raises his head to look down at his chest. An alarming amount of blood stains the front of his dark robes but when he breathes in, inflating his chest, there’s no pain anymore, just a subtle warmth. 

That was… “H-how did you…” Anakin stammers. The Sith Lord allows him to move his hand to gently touch the place the wound had been. It’s completely healed. “That’s impossible.”

“You could have died, you know.” The Sith Lord raises a curious eyebrow. “Why did you risk your life for a clone?”

There’s nothing judgemental in his tone, just pure interest, but Anakin immediately bristles. He’s heard those exact words come from other Jedi Generals, most of whom treated their men like they were expendables, not human. 

“They’re _men_ ,” Anakin snaps. But how could a Sith Lord understand the value of that? He breaks eye contact and glances over at Rex’s unconscious body, his heart sinking. “They’d do the same for me,” he says softly. 

“I can hardly see the Jedi Council approving of your actions today,” the Sith Lord muses, bringing himself to his feet. His golden eyes catch the sun, turning them a light honey shade that draws Anakin's focus. “That just _screams_ attachment, doesn’t it?”

He’s right but Anakin would die before he admits it. “What would you know about the Jedi way?” Anakin growls instead. “You’re a Sith Lord.”

The Sith Lord’s eyes twinkle with amusement. Anakin’s breath catches. “Indeed,” the enemy says in his soft, silky voice. “I’ll be seeing you around… What was your name again?”

Anakin glares and the Sith Lord laughs. The sound takes Anakin aback. It's pure and genuine, the kind of laugh he used to hear from Ahsoka while they were out on a mission, just the two of them. He forgot what laughter sounded like… Life in the Temple was mundane at best and the only joy one got from the war was relief at victory or from a half-hearted attempt at lightening the mood right before a battle. 

“I must say,” the Sith Lord drawls, surveying the battlefield, “I was quite impressed by your little trick. Took out a whole battalion, that’s quite the feat.”

The hold on Anakin’s limbs lets up and he shoots to his feet, his mouth dropping open when he takes it all in. All the fog is gone, probably at the will of the Sith Lord, revealing the destruction that lies on the other side. 

Countless battle droids now litter the ground, smashed and hammered to pieces, with a single burn mark on the ground showing the area where the missile made an impact. Every single piece of machinery is destroyed; not even the cannons and tanks are left standing. Trees are fallen over, uprooted with an incredible force, and the rocks in the distance are split down their centers. The same theme goes on for _miles_ , past what Anakin’s eyes can see. 

It takes a few moments to observe the damage for Anakin to fully register what the Sith Lord said. _I was quite impressed by your little trick._

Anakin freezes in shock, his mouth popping open. He slowly brings up his hands, wondering where in the galaxy he had summoned the strength to do that from. Force pushes aren’t uncommon to him but to this magnitude… 

He abruptly remembers that the Sith Lord is still there and turns to face him, mentally slapping himself for getting so distracted. Golden eyes are still studying him, full of genuine curiosity and… sadness? No, that isn’t right. Anakin must be mistaking that emotion for something else. 

“Looks like your men are recovering,” the Sith Lord murmurs, taking a step closer to him. Anakin holds his breath, his eyes never leaving the Sith’s. There’s something entrancing about them, keeping Anakin fully focused on the man and nothing else. He doesn’t _want_ to pay attention to anything else. 

The Sith Lord draws closer to him, his hands at his sides but not reaching for his lightsaber. Anakin is confused. Why isn’t the man attacking him? This is the perfect time to strike down a Jedi. Anakin is in an incredibly dangerous position. He is unmoving, impossibly relaxed, and for some inexplicable reason doesn’t care that he’s at the complete mercy of a Sith Lord. But the other man doesn’t make a single move to cause him harm. 

Slowly, the man reaches a hand up, a tentative finger caressing Anakin’s jawline. The simple act brings a burst of warmth to Anakin and he almost leans into it, savoring how pleasant it feels. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt such a caring touch, though something in his mind brings up the memory of his late mother. 

For the first time in a long while, someone is looking at him like he’s not just an enemy, not just a Jedi, not the Hero Without Fear, not the prophesied _Chosen_ _One…_ but like he’s something more than that - like he’s just Anakin Skywalker. Maybe it's just because the Sith Lord doesn't know who he is, but it's nice to see anyway, even if it's coming from a man who's supposed to be his mortal enemy.

“Interesting…” the Sith Lord drawls, a slow smirk lifting his lips. He leans forward, his mouth now so close to Anakin’s ear. Anakin’s heart begins to race, thundering with the anticipation of what will happen next. He’s vaguely aware of Rex stirring as his consciousness returns. 

Hot breath gently brushes Anakin’s ear. Anakin gives a little gasp and he can feel the Sith Lord grinning smugly. “Sleep, Jedi…” Anakin moans quietly as his eyelids begin to droop, the loving and enticing arms of sleep opening to embrace him. 

_“Sleep.”_


	2. the one where anakin breaks the code, gets punished for it, is sad, but doesn't realize what he did so he then proceeds to say fuck it and does it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anakin is an angry boi and obi-wan's just trying his best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is kind of a long chapter... by my standards, at least
> 
> sorry not sorry 
> 
> :D

"A Sith Lord?"

Anakin slowly blinks, wondering if Master Windu is messing with him for kicks or if he's just dense. Windu's expression hasn't shifted in the past thirty seconds Anakin has been gawking at him, though, so either Windu is a very skilled liar or he's actually telling the truth. He doesn’t know that a Sith Lord had been heading the droid army on Ryloth. He probably doesn’t even know that this particular Sith Lord  _ existed _ in the first place. 

"Yes," he replies dumbly. 

"What's your proof of this?" Ki Adi leans forward, lacing his fingertips together. Anakin is beginning to get a little uncomfortable with how closely all the Masters are watching him. Does he have street food on his robes again? That would be awkward.

"Er..." Anakin thinks back to his encounter with the Sith Lord. The details of it come back much more vividly than he would have liked. The dark cloak, the incredible use of the Force when the Sith Lord rendered Anakin and the 501st unconscious, the golden eyes, the gentle hands on his chest when the Sith healed Anakin, hot breath against-

Oh no  _ no _ . Anakin bites his lip, hoping that his shields had been in place while his thoughts had wandered. There is a time and place to think about these things and it certainly is not in front of the people notorious for scolding him about attachments. He could think about it later-

_ Never _ , Anakin thinks hastily. He's never thinking about it again. He pushes the memory into a dark place in his mind, imagines himself locking it up and throwing away the key, never to be found again. Maybe he should have taken the medical droid's advice and stayed in bed longer. 

Something brushes against his ear. 

He yelps and turns to the side, sighing in relief when he sees that no one's there. Then he remembers that he's still standing in front of the Council and promptly flushes, returning his attention - his  _ full  _ attention, he swears - back to them. They're all staring at him like he's gone insane, which is probably true judging by what he had just been thinking about a moment ago-

"Are you... alright, Skywalker?" Luminara frowns, her eyes glittering with concern. Anakin looks at her curiously. Another pair of eyes had looked at him like that while he was injured only recently from a missile-

No, not thinking about that.  _ Stars _ , what's wrong with him? 

"My apologies, Master..." Anakin dips his head to her, biting his lip as he tries and fails to come up with a suitable excuse. "The last few missions have, er, recently taxed my strength." That isn't a lie, at least. "Perhaps some rest will do me good." Well, actually, he has no intention of resting after this. Instead, he plans to take a very,  _ very  _ cold shower at the first opportunity he's given. 

"Okay..." Luminara clears her throat, the noise sharp in the uncomfortable silence, and she slides a datapad out from under her seat. "We'll come back to the matter of the Sith Lord in a moment. We received a rather interesting report from your Captain... Rex, is it?" At Anakin's nod, she proceeds. "'General Skywalker jumped in front of me,'" she reads, "'and I don't know exactly what happened. One moment a missile was headed towards me and the next, the entire army was all  _ destroyed _ . I've never seen anything like it...'"

"Anything to say on that matter, have you?" Yoda asks. 

No, not really, but they're all probably expecting him to say something. "Ye-es... er... Well - I don't really understand what happened, either."

"Elaborate on this, may you?"

How is he supposed to elaborate on something he doesn't understand? 

Anakin holds back a long-suffering sigh and glances out the window, trying his best to collect his scattered thoughts. It's like trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces missing, he can't make sense of any of it. He probably has as many questions as the Council does. How had he been able to do what he did? Why hadn’t the Sith Lord killed him? Why is there another Sith Lord when there are supposed to only be two? Why is the Sith Lord so  _ kriffing- _

Anakin decides to stop his train of thought there, it has run long enough. "It was like an instinct, Master," he says truthfully. He remembers the feeling when he had jumped in front of his friend, fear of losing him the only thing on his mind. "I can't explain how, but I knew how to do it, I guess it just took the right situation to make me desperate enough to act on it," he finishes rather lamely. No wonder Padmé always made it a point to make fun of his eloquence, it is rather dreadful. 

"What about the situation do you think prompted you to use that much of your strength?" Adi Gallia asks. 

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to save the lives of my men." 

Windu leans forward. Anakin subconsciously takes a step back, biting his lip. He has a bad feeling about this. "Skywalker..." Ah, there's the tone. It's like Anakin's a Padawan again, a  _ youngling  _ that stumbled into the Temple not even a day ago. Anakin resists a heavy sigh, knowing what's coming next. "How many times do we have to tell you not to let your emotions cloud your judgment? You should have thought before-"

"Master Windu," Anakin interrupts, not oblivious to the gasps going around the Council as he cuts Windu off. He can faintly hear laughter near his ear. Yoda’s eyes shoot to him. Oh well, he's going to regret an outburst like this, of course, but it would be  _ later _ , not at this very moment. "This wasn't a decision influenced by my emotions, it was a strategic one." It's a lie, he thinks, before dismissing that fact as irrelevant to his wellbeing. "The droid battalion was about to wipe out  _ dozens  _ of my men, I wasn't about to let that happen."

"Because you're attached to them," Ki Adi points out.

_ Sith-hells,  _ why does he even try anymore?

Anakin shuffles his feet angrily and aims a frustrated look at Ki Adi, wanting nothing better than to punch him square in the face. Would  _ Mundi _ have left his men to die?

At the last minute, however, Anakin reminds himself to breathe and calm down. 

Why did the Council always jump to these pathetic conclusions that Anakin's intentions are always aimed to piss them off? 

Okay, sure, most of the time that was true, but not  _ all  _ the time.

Hmm... What are his solutions to this mess he's in? He could jump out the window, flee the planet, and... become a pirate. Hondo would probably take him in a heartbeat. Or maybe he could try his luck at being a Senator - the Chancellor and Padmé had both taken a liking to him a long time ago. Although... Maybe that wasn't the best idea, considering his current skills in front of the Council. 

What else can he say? That Rex means a lot to him and it feels like he's the only person Anakin can trust anymore? It’s completely honest but it also implies that Anakin doesn’t have faith in the Council as much as they believe he should. Yeah, Anakin would have been horrified at losing any one of his men, but he had known Rex for a long time, it was the fear of losing  _ him  _ that had ultimately pushed him to do what he did. 

But would the Council even bother to listen to that nonsense? Anakin holds back an eye-roll. He doesn't need Yoda and Windu's foresight to see what would result from that. They would use his words against him. 

Windu would launch into an hour-long lecture addressing how attachments are not the Jedi way. Yoda would probably say something along the lines of  _ meditate on this, you must  _ or make some painfully obvious yet vague statement about how  _ the dark side clouds the future _ . It even sounds laughable in Anakin's head. 

"Why are you smiling?" Luminara asks. 

Anakin blanches and grounds himself, biting on his tongue furiously. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it upon realizing that he would likely muck up his situation even more with whatever excuse he could come up with. 

It doesn’t help that Yoda is now looking at him more intently than before. Anakin can’t help but get the feeling that the Grandmaster knows something the rest of the Council doesn’t. Then again, he always got that feeling, maybe that’s just Yoda’s resting face.

"I don't understand why I'm being punished for saving innocent lives," Anakin ends up saying. There, that sounds a lot more civilized. 

"The Council felt a disturbance in the Force," Windu says gravely. Ah, so Windu is the one making up for the absence of droll warnings while Yoda’s preoccupied with being the sole participant in a staring contest with Anakin. "I could feel it too, from our position on Ryloth. It came from you."

That's good to know, Anakin wants to say and then promptly leave. They already talked about this, when Luminara read Rex's report aloud. Anakin is starting to grow impatient, his mechanical fingers twitching more feverishly by the second. 

"You have to understand why we're cautious, even if you saved your men... Are you aware that your...  _ ability _ ... the reason we felt the disturbance is because you channeled from the Dark Side?"

Anakin laughs.

Yeah, right. 

Windu isn't smiling. 

Oh. 

_ Oh, this isn't good _ . Anakin bites the sides of his mouth hard in an effort to maintain some semblance of control over himself. "No, I was not aware of that."

"Obviously."

Anakin bites down harder. "Are you sure it wasn't the  _ Sith Lord  _ by any chance? You know, the one who uses the Dark Side for a  _ living _ ?"

"And that brings us back to the subject of said Sith Lord," Luminara pipes up. "Where is your proof?"

"Is my word as a Jedi not enough?"

Adi Gallia takes over. "Can any of your men back you up on this, Skywalker? Perhaps one of them saw this Sith Lord?"

"He knocked all my men unconscious."

"How convenient."

Anakin can't believe this. "Master, I know what I saw!" He notices he's raising his voice several volumes higher and promptly lowers it, reminding himself to be a bit more tactful. Unfortunately, he had never been one for tact. "It's not  _ my  _ fault Master Windu didn't see him, the Sith Lord was probably more focused on destroying his reinforcements, which is why  _ I'm _ the one who caught sight of him."

No one looks convinced. That just about does it. "Why the hell would I make up something like this?"

"Skywalker..." Windu says. "Alright, I believe you regarding the Sith Lord.”  _ Finally.  _ “But we can’t ignore your attachment to your men. The disturbance in the Force came from  _ you _ , that much we can tell. You used the Dark Side, Skywalker, not just the Sith Lord. You need to let go of your attachments, we’ve been telling you this ever since you got here, why is it so difficult for you to listen?”

The very sound of Windu's voice aggravates him beyond  _ belief _ . Anakin reckons he should have received a galaxy-wide commendation right from the Supreme Chancellor purely for restraining himself from straight-up attacking the Jedi Master. It takes an extreme amount of effort to bury his rising frustration deep inside himself. 

That's all the Council wants him to do, isn't it? Just squash any bit of feeling, any emotion that makes him  _ human _ , so he could be a perfect Jedi, so he could be what  _ they  _ wanted him to be, never what  _ he _ wanted to be. 

It's a wonder he's put up with this for so long. 

Maybe Ahsoka had made handling it, or ignoring it at the very least, easier. But it's not like she's much help now, is she?

"Are we done here?' he hears himself ask. 

Blaring sirens go off in his head. 

Wrong thing to say, stupid stupid stupid-

"I beg your pardon, Knight Skywalker?"

Anakin swallows nervously, his entire face feeling like It's on fire. “Er…” How had he even passed his trials? “My deepest apologies, Master Windu, I didn’t think before I spoke.”

“Well, since you’re in such a hurry to be somewhere else, let’s wrap this up,” Windu said tonelessly. “You allowed your attachment to your men to take control of your actions. You know that can’t be tolerated. We have no choice but to remove the 501st from your command.”

“You can’t do that!” Anakin blurts out, not even caring how out of line he is anymore. Not for the first time, Rex is the only thing on his mind. 

He can’t lose Rex, the  _ only _ person he has left-

“It’s for your own good, Knight Skywalker,” Ki Adi explains. Anakin scoffs. Like that’s supposed to comfort him. Are they out of their minds? “Your attachment to your men pushed you to touch the Dark Side on Ryloth. That’s something we cannot tolerate. The 501st will be moved to a different Jedi’s command. Until further notice, you will remain on Coruscant.”  _ Where we can keep an eye on you _ , is left unsaid, but Anakin still catches it. “You shouldn’t be worried.”

Pure, unbridled fury explodes in his chest. “Shouldn’t be worried?” Anakin snorts. “Yeah, sure. Let’s look at what happened the last time, when Krell made them turn against each other,  _ kill  _ each other-”

“Not every Jedi is like Krell, Skywalker,” Windu rises to his feet, a rare showcase of temper. Anakin really shouldn’t be this satisfied to see it. “Your vision is clouded-”

“So was yours when you gave him command of my men,” Anakin snaps. “You want to talk about how  _ my  _ vision is clouded - what about  _ yours?  _ You couldn’t even see that he’d fallen to the Dark Side, how do I know you won’t make that mistake again? My  _ deepest apologies  _ if I’m a little upset at the thought of my men going through that again and  _ dying _ because of your ign-”

“ _ That’s enough _ ,” Windu shouts. 

Anakin falls silent. The small rational part of his mind remaining tells him that he went too far. He supposes he did. He’s never seen Windu this irate. “My apologies,  _ Master _ ,” he says. It doesn’t even sound genuine to his own ears but it’s the best they’re going to get.  _ Watto _ had taken these types of apologies all the time. “I was out of line. Please accept my  _ humble  _ apologies.”

“Is this all a joke to you?” Windu hisses. 

Is… Is this a joke to him? Yeah, he takes all the innocent lives at stake because of the war for a  _ joke _ . It doesn’t matter that Dooku killed Qui-Gon right after Anakin had been knighted, it’s all just a great big kriffing  _ laughing matter _ . Is this seriously what the Council takes him for? 

“No,” Anakin says quietly. He hopes that one word is enough to convey every ounce of rage he feels at that moment. If the Council keeps insisting on breaking him down every day, they could do so, but he wasn’t going to let himself crumble without a fight. He’s not  _ ever  _ going to be a tool or someone who takes orders without question ever again. 

_ I’m a person _ , he had told Senator Amidala all those years ago.  _ And my name is Anakin _ . 

Apparently not to the Jedi Council. 

Maybe he’s being overdramatic, he certainly knows he’s pushing the Council’s patience to the brink, but he doesn't care. It feels good to lash out at them, to at last prove them right by showing that he isn’t a perfect Jedi. 

Anakin looks away from Windu’s furious stare, pausing. No, he reminds himself, he can’t let himself get carried away like this. Anger is a path to the Dark Side and whatever happens, he cannot let himself fall. He repeats the mantra over and over in his head, words that had been drilled into his head long ago, until it becomes a consistent echo in the back of his head. He’s a  _ Jedi _ . 

It feels like Anakin’s moved away from the scorching heat of the Tatooine suns and into cool waters when Windu, at last, calms down. “May I… request that I be dismissed?” Anakin asks. The words seem meaningless to him - like they’re someone else’s, not his own. “I feel that I’m not clear-minded at the moment.”

“That’s my assessment as well,” Windu says. Oh, he’s just _begging_ for Anakin to lose control at this point. “Your request is granted, make sure you stay on Coruscant. The 501st will be transferred to Master Plo's command." That's the first piece of good news Anakin's heard all day. "Just…” For a moment, weariness overtakes him and the sunken bags beneath his eyes become more pronounced. He looks so tired… “Please understand that this is for your own good.”

If Anakin was in a different situation, he would have broken out in laughter. But as he’s under the keen, penetrating gaze of the entire Council, he merely inclines his head with the respect that he didn’t truly feel and walks out without another word. 

* * *

Saying goodbye to his men is a lot tougher than he imagined it would be. Each footstep towards the hangar feels like he’s dragging weights with him, trudging through mounds of sand to get to a place he doesn’t even want to go to. 

What is he supposed to say? 

“General Skywalker!” 

He lifts his head at Fives’s voice, permitting himself a tiny smile. To his dismay, he realizes he’s already made it to the hangar. The majority of his men are standing in front of him, no doubt about to be flown away either on another mission or for a little time off. He hopes it’s the latter, they deserve a break. 

“Hey, Fives,” Anakin beams, patting him on the back in a friendly greeting. Fives slings an arm around Anakin’s shoulders easily and twirls to face the rest of the 501st men in the area. 

“Let’s get a round of applause for General Skywalker,” Fives calls. “Without him, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be standing here today.” 

“Fives…” Anakin mumbles in his ear over the loud scatter of applause now echoing through the hangar. Other clones of different divisions are looking at them with barely disguised amusement. Fives turns to Anakin curiously. “I… I don’t have good news.”

Fives’s smile fades somewhat. “They didn’t punish you for what you did, did they, sir?” Anakin glances down. “General, that’s ridiculous, you saved a lot of men.”

Anakin can’t stand to look at his friend. His heart feels like it’s splitting in two as he finally forces out the words he’s been dreading to speak aloud. “The Council… isn’t happy with what I did. Said I’m too attached.”

“That’s preposterous-”

“They’re moving you to another Jedi.” 

Fives whitens and backs away a step, shaking his head slowly. “No,” he breathes. “Please tell me you’re joking, General.” 

Anakin grimaces. He wishes he was. With a sudden pressure over his chest, he shifts to face the rest of his men. They’re still all watching at him with awe and pride in their eyes. It knocks the breath out of him. 

His eyes land on Rex, who’s sitting in the back chatting away with a couple of his  _ vode _ . As soon as Anakin looks at him, however, Rex’s gaze drags over to him and they meet eye contact. Rex’s brows instantly furrow in concern. He has always been good at reading Anakin. 

“Thank you,” Anakin says. His voice is light but carries enough authority to silence the hangar. The men all turn to him, leaning forward in anticipation. “First… I want to acknowledge how well you’ve done these past few rotations. You continue to awe and amaze me, and I could never be more proud.”

“Right back at you, General,” Jesse yells. A lot of whoops and cheers follow after. Anakin smiles. 

“Many, if not all of you, know what happened yesterday. If you don’t, I’m sure your  _ vode _ will be happy to share… The thing is…”  _ Force _ , telling Fives alone had been so much easier, why is it so much more challenging now? His throat gets stuck as he tries to summon the courage to tell them- 

Even he doesn’t want to hear himself say it. It will just make it more real and, he admits, he doesn’t _want_ to let go of the 501st. They’re like _family_. 

Fives, bless his heart, sees his General struggling, and steps forward to address the men for him. “The Council disapproved of Skywalker’s actions at Ryloth and have seen fit to remove him from our command. We’re being transferred to another Jedi General.”

Silence falls over the room. Anakin can hardly breathe. 

“What?” Rex’s voice is low and hoarse but it crushes Anakin even from all the way across the hangar. 

“That’s not right,” Jesse protests. “He saved our  _ lives _ .”

Then one of the men asks the question Anakin had been hoping to avoid. “What if it’s just another Umbara?” 

Rex looks at the floor. 

“It’s not,” Anakin brings himself to say. He knows how badly Umbara scared his men. “You’ll be moved under General Plo Koon with Wolffe.”

“Why?” Rex demands. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sir, I stressed that in my report to them.”

“I don’t know…” Anakin’s voice breaks. He can feel tears slipping down his cheeks and hastily wipes them away, hating the tender looks his men are giving him. “I’m so  _ sorry _ .”

"It's not your fault," Fives tells him. "You're the best General we could've asked for, Skywalker."

Anakin sniffles, dipping his head to Fives in acknowledgment.

“Well… This might well be our last day together,” Kix says. “How about we go get a drink in the lower levels, eh? For old time’s sake.”

Anakin nods. Fives’s arm is around him again and gently steering him. Anakin leans against his friend, grateful for his presence, drinking it in because he knows this might be the last time he’s ever in it again. 

* * *

It must have been after the fifth drink that Anakin finally excuses himself. Rex pouts when he gets up from the table and drunkenly tries to drag him back but ends up face-down on the floor instead with Anakin and the others roaring with laughter. 

Anakin smiles to himself as he pushes open the door, using the Force to expel all the alcohol from his body. This is his last day with them for the foreseeable future, after all, and he wants to remember every moment. He sighs contentedly as a cool breeze hits his face and he makes it to the park just outside the bar he and the men got drunk in. He spots a bench and settles down on it, glad that there's no one else in the area. 

Since there’s nothing better to do, he finds himself looking up and staring at the stars, reclining all the way on the bench. When he had been a Padawan, he and Qui-Gon had sometimes come here to stare at the night sky. The stars are always most visible in the lower levels of Coruscant because of lower light pollution as opposed to the higher levels near the Jedi Temple and Senate Building.

Someone sits down next to him. Anakin hardly notices as he loses himself in the twinkling lights. Silent tears drip down his cheeks as he thinks of what tomorrow will bring. He won't have Rex, he won't have the 501st, he won't even be able to leave the planet... What's he supposed to do now? There's nothing left for him. 

He just wants to stay here, in this exact position forever, with a beautiful view above him and a warm body leaning against his shoulder-

Wait,  _ what?  _

He yelps and immediately scoots to the side when he spots the man sitting next to him, his eyes angled at the stars, too. A dark cloak drapes over his shoulders and his eyes - brilliant  _ gold  _ \- reflect the light of the nearest complex, shimmering with amusement as they turn to look at Anakin. 

Anakin knows who this is but… he can’t quite place it. Recognition flickers in the back of his mind, but all of Anakin's attention is on the beautiful golden eyes that are staring at him like he's the most precious thing in the world. 

"You're okay," the man soothes, a gentle hand finding its way to Anakin's cheek. Anakin's eyes flutter shut at the touch and he leans into it, sighing at its comforting warmth. Two tears make their way down his cheeks as his eyelids shut. 

Anakin forgets how to breathe when he feels the man closing the space between the two of him. He's so  _ close _ now... He tries to pull away, but hands grip his wrists and hold him in place. When he meets those eyes again, Anakin realizes he doesn't want to move away. Slowly, the man leans forward and his mouth meets with Anakin's cheek, his lips both cool and warm as he kisses away one tear... and then the next. 

Anakin goes still.

Then the recognition hits him. 

Oh stars, it's the  _ Sith Lord _ . 

Anakin springs to his feet, his mouth ajar in horror at what he had allowed to happen. He furiously wipes away the remainder of his tears, appalled by his behavior. The Sith Lord raises an amused eyebrow and leans further back into the bench as if this was all perfectly normal. "What the  _ hell _ ?" Anakin snaps, his hand at last finding his way to his lightsaber. He brings it out and grips the hilt tightly, his heart pounding like claps of thunder in his chest. 

"There we go..." The Sith Lord grins and leans back lazily, his arms reaching to spread over the back of the bench. "I'm curious, are you always this dramatic?"

"What are you doing here?"

The Sith Lord smirks. "My, my, I see the Jedi failed to teach you manners as well. Why so quick to the point? Surely there's no reason we can't be civilized by this. How does a cup of tea sound?"

Anakin ignites his lightsaber. That seems to do the trick, for the Sith Lord finally drags his gaze away from Anakin and to the dangerous blue blade. He sighs in disappointment, rising to his feet and making a show of brushing off invisible dust from his cloaks. Anakin falters for a moment when the light catches the Sith Lord's lips, reflecting off the salty tears he had kissed away from Anakin's-

Oh  _ Force _ , first Anakin had nearly let a Sith Lord into his mind, now he had actually let him kiss him? 

Blood roars in his ears as his anger grows. "If you know what's good for you," Anakin snarls, "you'll leave. Or else-"

"You'll kill me?" The Sith Lord chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "I'm not sure if I believe that... Anakin, is it?" With another burst of fury, Anakin raises his lightsaber to the Sith Lord's throat, fooling himself into thinking he has every intention to end this man's life. "I'll take that as a yes. It was nice to see you again, Anakin, hopefully this isn't the last time." The Sith Lord has the  _ audacity  _ to wink at that. "I'll be on my way now."

"I could turn you in," Anakin blurts out, nodding towards his ignited lightsaber. "I could bring you to the Jedi Council."

"Are you that desperate for their approval?"

Anakin blinks, temporarily speechless.

The Sith Lord takes a step closer. Anakin's eyes widen and he immediately pulls his lightsaber away from the man's throat, earning him a smug smile in return. "Do you  _ want  _ to turn me in,  _ Anakin _ ?" His name rolls off the Sith Lord's tongue slowly and easily, like the man was savoring every syllable. He doesn't answer. "Let me put it another way, as I see you're at a loss for words... Do you honestly think you could take me down, much less even  _ try? _ "

The last word hasn't even left the Sith Lord's mouth when Anakin suddenly goes rigid, a presence suddenly enveloping him in the Force. Dark phantom claws drag themselves across Anakin's mental shields, easing a strangled gasp from his throat. His eyes grow wide in sudden fear. Once again, he's at the complete mercy of the Sith Lord. All it would take is a little  _ push _ from those claws and Anakin would be done for.

“ _ Please _ ,” Anakin manages. 

“Are you _begging_ , Anakin Skywalker,” the Sith Lord asks softly, taking a step closer. “Begging requires one getting to their knees, does it not?”

Anakin holds back a scoff. There is no galaxy, no universe, where he will  _ ever  _ kneel before-

The Sith Lord smirks, satisfied, and releases his hold. Anakin's knees give out and he tumbles to the ground, panting. 

When he looks up, the Sith Lord is gone. 

Anakin shakily pushes himself to his feet, staring in astonishment at the spot where the Sith Lord had stood. 

He wonders if the Sith Lord had known what he was doing when he kissed away Anakin's tears. Anakin had felt utterly  _ broken  _ when he left the Council Chambers, even if he didn’t let himself admit it. But that rage Anakin had felt at the kisses to his cheeks and how the Sith Lord had  _ taunted _ him and the Order, the burning  _ anger _ the Sith Lord had brought out of him...

It had kept Anakin from falling apart completely. 


End file.
